Warning!

To all of you on MSN, please make sure you disable your history folder with your contacts. Whether you do or don't share your computer/laptop with others, please remember not to set your MSN to sign in automatically. You never know who will use your computer and when. There are many hackers around. Which means that your emails aren't safe too. Change your passwords periodically.

Year End thoughts

Tommorrow, I will bring my beloved girls back with me to UK. This post will, I'm sure, incur the wrath of some. But this is my blog and I should be able to write what I want. In fact, there were many things and issues I'd wanted to write here in the past but due to the readership, I couldn't (Kudos to you, Mel). I had even protected some identities in order not to create a stir. Coming back to Singapore this time, I learnt that my mother-in-law had asked my mum to tell me not to write certain things here. I don't know when she told her that but I can only recall once (when I came back) that my mum dropped a subtle hint that I shouldn't be writing certain things on my blog. I was puzzled because she doesn't read my blog. Now, I know why.

2007 had been a very memorable year for me. Like everyone in this world, I have my share of ups and downs. But the past 3 years had been more downs than ups. I don't think I'm the only one who has the sentiment that living abroad is not an easy business. But I had somewhat managed so far. I knew what I was in for, well not totally though. There will be no help when I needed so, be it childcare or domestic chores. If I have problems, I can't just pick up the phone to call a friend or family. A lot of things (other than bringing home the bacon), I have to handle myself. But 3 years passed by and I am still one piece. No doubt torn and battered, I am still myself and my girls are healthy and happy.

I certainly don't live the life of a tai-tai like some may think. That is indeed laughable. Even though I had travelled to a few places this year (who doesn't go holidays?), they were 'tag-alongs' and the last trip to Hong Kong was to steal some much needed couple-time. I don't classify that as having a jet set lifestyle. How can I be a tai-tai when all I do is housework and chauffering the family around and shopping at supermarkets making sure we have food in the fridge?

This past year, I learnt of certain people's secrets. Some very dark ones too. Shocking they may be but I got to know their true colours. It can be very upsetting but once you get over it and stay away from them, life goes on.

Coming back to Singapore 3 weeks ago, I was initially filled with lots of excitement and raring to do many things and go to lots of places. I came back in search for peace, reconciliation with myself and hoped that by being at a place called my home, I will be recharged and all ready for the new year. These were not meant to be. I ended up more depressed and alone. Now, I have to rethink my future and make changes to my plan for the immediate future. Why? The reason being that my husband will continue to stay in Singapore while I go back with our girls. I certainly didn't foresee this happening. Not us staying or him. He told me he's staying only 2 days ago.

Apparently, my husband had rung my mum while I was still in UK telling her that he would like the girls and I to stay in Singapore while he completes his PhD. I had to hear about it from my sister-in-law's boyfriend. Even then, he got the information wrong that my husband will stay while we go back or something like that. Once information had been passed from one person to another, it will get skewed. I don't know how many more people knew about it before I found out accidentally. Pathetic right? I'm the involved party yet I was kept in the dark. To say that I was furious was an understatement. I told my mother-in-law that I will not stay. She then suggested the whole family staying. I rejected that idea. She questioned my ability to cope in UK while his son completes the last hurdle of his course.

If we stay, he will live with his parents while the girls (technically) and I will be at my parents. You read that right. Us, a family unit, living like that. He said I could live like a family over at his parents but it's that I don't want to. Why would I want to revisit the old days? Even now we are here on holiday, we slept in my inlaws room due to space constraints. Do I want to carry on with this arrangement? No. There will be more conflicts on top of the exisiting ones between my husband and I. The girls will be like commodities. There will have to be a roster as to when they should be at their paternal grandparents' place and when they should be here with me. Do I want to live a life like that? No. Furthermore, we had only packed for a holiday here and didn't plan our stuff back in UK for spending more months in Singapore. My husband said I should leave the girls here while I go back to pack. What?! To spend tens of hundreds of dollars to fly back to pack and then come back? Did I say I'm not a tai-tai? Where do I get the money from? I'm not going to accept any offers to pay for it again. Where will my dignity go? Despite me making clear that I will go back with the girls, my husband insisted on staying. When he was the one who didn't want to come back earlier and even complained that 2 weeks was too long. When he was the one who laughed at my idea of staying in Singapore while we were still in UK because he kept lamenting we have no money. Now, he is staying and doesn't know for how long.

We are ready to leave, despite how heartbroken I am. If not for my parents and sisters, I would have left earlier. The girls will no longer have heat rashes or itchy skin when we get back. I hope I will be a stronger person at the end of it. I have to be.

Soon

Peace, solace, merriment, joy, alleviation, placation, enjoyment. NOT!

In about one week, we will once again pack our bags and head back to UK. To the place where things will be back to normal, somewhat. To where we have lived for the past 3 years. To the experience which made me learnt lots of things and get to know the true nature of people. To the life which took some getting used to. Simply.....back to my life.

2nd opinion

Many people had asked me about the result of my consultation with the Dr here in Singapore so I thought I'll write about it here. The Dr sent me for another ultrasound scan because all I had with me was a brief report from the Dr in UK with no scans or dimensions. Today I returned to KKH to review the scans I had on Tuesday.

The UK report stated that a total of 5 fibroadenomas were seen on ultrasound. However, the scan I had 2 days ago showed one duct on the left, 2 nodules and another duct on the right. The biggest lump which was biopsied in UK is now 1.3cm. I remembered the Dr in UK telling me all the lumps detected were less than 1cm. So for the lump to have grown this big in 2mth is quite worrying. It didn't help when the local Dr said that biopsy tests are not 100% accurate. Tissues may be taken from the lump but the cancerous part can be missed. The only way of knowing for sure is to have them excised which is normal practice here if the lumps are bigger than 1cm.

According to the KKH doctor, there are 3 predominant types of breast lumps (taken from mayoclinic.com).

1. Fibroadenomas

They are round, firm, rubbery masses that arise from excess growth of glandular and connective tissue. These masses can grow to the size of a small plum, but they're benign and usually painless. If you have a fibroadenoma, it may bounce or move slightly when you press the area.

Fibroadenomas respond to hormonal changes and tend to enlarge during pregnancy and shrink after menopause. Women of any age may have them, but they're usually detected in women in their 20s or 30s. Your doctor can't tell from a clinical breast exam alone whether a breast lump is a fibroadenoma. Mammography and ultrasound may help with the diagnosis, but the only way to be certain of a fibroadenoma is to take a sample of tissue for lab analysis (biopsy). Your doctor may also recommend surgery to remove the lump completely.

Fibroadenomas sometimes disappear spontaneously. But your doctor may recommend surgical removal if a fibroadenoma persists, gets larger or you're anxious about it.

2. Phyllodes tumor

A phyllodes tumor develops as a painless breast lump within the connective tissue of your breast. In rare instances, some phyllodes tumors are cancerous, but most are benign. Benign phyllodes tumors grow rapidly and may become very large.

Often it's difficult for your doctor to distinguish between a phyllodes tumor and a fibroadenoma — even after imaging tests and a needle biopsy. However, phyllodes tumors are much less common than fibroadenomas. Rapid growth of the mass may signal to your doctor that your breast lump is a phyllodes tumor.

Treating a phyllodes tumor usually involves surgery to remove the mass. After surgical removal, recurrence of the tumor remains a possibility.

3. Breast cancer

A cancerous (malignant) breast lump is often painless, hard and irregularly shaped. It feels different from surrounding breast tissue. If the breast lump is attached to underlying muscle, it may not move when you press on it. Overlying skin on your breast may be dimpled or red.

Other signs include:
A spontaneous clear or bloody discharge from your nipple
Retraction or indentation of your nipple
A change in the size or contours of your breast
Any flattening or indentation of the skin over your breast
Pitting of the skin over your breast, like the skin of an orange

Treatment depends on the type of cancer, its stage and the appearance of cancer cells under the microscope. Options include surgery, radiation, chemotherapy and hormone therapy. Detecting breast cancer in its earliest possible stage — by having regular mammograms and clinical breast exams — gives you the best chance for successful treatment.

If indeed the biggest lump I have (which was termed as indeterminate in the ultrasound scan report from KKH) is growing at this rate, it could be a Phyllodes tumour or even the unthinkable (unlikely though). Since I just had a core biopsy in October, the Dr didn't recommend me to have another one. I was due for another follow-up in UK in April with a repeat ultrasound scan to see if any of the lumps are growing or changing. My KKH doctor, seeing that mine is a borderline case (just over 1cm), told me that I could not have the surgery but suggested I have the follow-up in February instead. I have contacted the UK clinic for my detailed medical report before deciding if I should have the surgery. But even if I go ahead with it, the lumps may return which happened to me. I had one big one removed when I was 16. My mother-in-law is suggesting I should have all of them removed as soon as I get back from Hong Kong.

Doctors and more Doctors

Adrian and my mother-in-law commented that Louisa could have some hearing problem in one of her ears because everytime she's on the phone, she'll complain she can't hear. So I rang up her Paediatrician at Mt Alvernia to see if I can get an appointment. As expected, he's fully booked for the whole of this month so I'd been advised to go as a walk-in patient and was warned about the waiting time of approximately 2 hours. We went anyway. The clinic was packed with parents, children and newborn babies (so cute!). We didn't wait 2 hours. It was a long 3- hour wait. The Dr couldn't see anything wrong with her eardrums so he referred us to a Ear Specialist. As we are in Singapore for only a short period of time and being the nice doctor that he is, he personally rang the specialist and asked for Louisa to be seen today. I was pleasantly surprised when we weren't charged for the consultation. Perhaps it was the long wait, I don't know. So we rushed over to the other clinic in Orchard Road. The referral letter had the address on it and it was at Paragon. Even though I know the parking charges there are sky high, I couldn't think of anywhere else to park especially since it was raining. I didn't expect the wait to be as long and had even planned to bring Louisa to Bakerzin for cake and hot choc. Boy was I wrong!

First when I got to the unit number, I realised it wasn't the right place as that wasn't a clinic so I asked a person inside. He told me the clinic had been relocated to Mt Elizabeth. Luckily Mt E is just next door. As I don't know the unit number of the clinic, I checked on the directory in the lift lobby. Found it and took the lift up. Got into the clinic and was happy to see no patients. Showed the receptionist the referral letter and was told the clinic's on another level. How do I know there's 2 almost identical practices. So we had to go down to ground floor to take another lift up to the 12th floor.

Finally, we made it to the right place. It was very posh but there were quite a few people waiting. We sat down to begin our waiting game again. I read magazines while Louisa read some books and did some drawings. (Thank goodness Lavigne didn't go). About 1hr later, we were seen by the doctor, another very nice man. He looked into her ears and we could see the insides on 2 monitors. Louisa was enthralled. Her eardrums were intact and looked normal with no fluid so he sent us to Lucky Plaza for a hearing test - the only place we didn't need to wait. We sat in a soundproof room and Louisa had to put on one huge headphone. Everytime she heard a 'tink', she had to raise her hand. The test didn't take very long and we went back to the specialist with the report.

Waited more than 30min before we were seen. By then, Louisa was getting hungry and cranky after all the wait. But I just ignored her and let her whinged. The doctor's diagnosis was Louisa has mild hearing loss in her right ear. Her left ear's fine but something happens to the sound travelling between her middle and inner ear. When sound travels into her ears, both eardrums vibrate so they are not the culprit. The possible reasons are a bone right inside the ear may be deformed, a damaged nerve or a growth in the ear. He explained that the likelihood of all these are very low as the test she took today might not be 100% accurate since she's still very young and she might not get the hang of it. She doesn't need treatment now and will have to take another hearing test in 3 months' time so that there can be a comparison. If it remains the same, treatment can be in the form of surgery which carries the risk of total hearing loss or having a hearing aid fixed. He doesn't forsee her undergoing these treatments as her hearing loss is very mild. He even shared with me that of all the places he had lived in, UK was the only one where he encountered racism. Hmmmm.... Oh the damage for today? $180 for first consultation and hearing test and almost $20 for parking at Mt Alvernia and Paragon.

So yes, since Monday, we'd been seeing doctors everyday. The girls on Monday for their cough and cold, me at KKH on Tuesday, Louisa today and tomorrow will be me again at KKH. I feel so broke!

Haircut and Ageing

My hairdresser refused to cut my hair short. She told me she preferred it to be long. I think it's a nicer way of her telling me short hairstyle doesn't suit me. So I asked her to just cut a style that suits me. The new hairdo looks a little like the one I liked (albeit much longer) IF I apply wax/clay/whatever to style it. I knew my old hairdo was awful but didn't know it was quite that hideous until I had compared the before and after photos. (Oh I'm struggling with using my sister's computer which uses Firefox)

No fancy photos till we get back because my sister doesn't have Photoshop and all my files are in UK.

Before

The reason I'm in the pic is because Lavigne refused to go on the stage without me.

After

Louisa said I looked weird, Lavigne didn't seem to notice that I had huge clumps of hair chopped off and my third sis commented the haircut is not nice. But I quite like it. At least it no longer looks bulky and 'chi-ba-boom'.

After my haircut, I came home to take pictures for my new passport (not the one above). To my great horror, I realised I'd aged considerably. Those fine lines and crow's feet were very obvious when I saw the photos. The closeups of me looked like I'm in my 40s. I'm sure there are lots of ladies in that age group who look better than me. This past year had definitely taken a toll on me.

Back in UK, I don't look at mirrors that much. Even if I do, there wasn't much sunlight to bounce off my face and the toilet light is not very bright. So I was deluded and complacent all these while. Here in Singapore, I'm more fervent in applying makeup before I go out (since there's always someone around to keep an eye on the girls). With natural light and all, my close encounters with my face had not been pleasant. The awakening call had been the photos. Jean, when's the SK11 'Miracle Water' and masks arriving? I really need to work some miracles on my face now!

Appreciated

I'm sure all mothers alike will think the same as I do. That we do many things out of love and our desire to please, certainly not to show off or get a commendation/award. Just when I thought that all that I do go unappreciated and my good deeds are overlooked and whatever I do seems to be wrong, I read this. For one rare moment, I feel appreciated as a person not because Saggs painted such a 'wonderful picture of me' but because she understands my position and sees my true intentions. Other people can see me as Jekyll and Hyde all they want but so long as my conscience is clear, I don't give a hoot. It is hard to sometimes but I will try.

Syl, thank you for your special blog entry which I appreciate alot. I don't need any awards from you. Having found you as a friend, I feel truly blessed and thank you for extending your friendship to me.

Away to La-la-land

Only one day into my trip in Singapore, I'd been made to feel guilty for not meeting up with people. I think this is totally unfair. I'd wanted this trip to be as fuss-free as possible, to be a relaxing break and to get away from the hustle-bustle of UK life, a chance for me to review my life. Of course there are many friends and family to meet up with, given the fact that we live in a distant country and come back perhaps only once a year. We are all still trying to get over the jetlag, trying to adjust to the drastic change in temperature and this has to happen.....less than 24 hours since touching down. I thought I could choose who I want to meet and when. I will eventually meet all the people I want to meet and have to meet but just in my own time. Apparently not! Why come back and be put in this kind of position? Will we be better off if we didn't come back. I knew it will happen, just not this soon. It had been a turbulent year. I thought coming back here will enable me to put certain things in perspective, let me recharge and renew for the coming crucial year ahead. I simply dislike all the power struggle. Can you imagine the stress? I wish people can be more understanding, on the other hand, they may wish I be the one. Plans do change. If it wasn't for the girls, we'd not gone out at all today. I remembered reading from Mel's blog about all the Holiday Shows and quickly made a check and found out that the Disney Princesses Pageant's last 2 shows are on this weekend. (Can't make it tomorrow as we have a birthday party to attend). So I brought them to Compass Point in the afternoon just for them to see the 'show' and take pictures with them and due to some unforseen circumstances, we ate dinner out. Is it an obligation for me to think of every single person I know when I plan my own family activities and make sure all are satisfied and pleased? I don't think this is realistic and possible. Many a time, I bring the girls out on a whim without any prior plan or intention. To be constantly whispered at behind my back is torturous. Then again, we can't control what other people do and say, can we? If you want to do it, do it discreetly and don't let me get wind of it.

Sometimes I just wish that I can disappear somewhere with the girls. Somewhere in La-la-land. However, I can't be an idealist or fantasist and have to be realistic and live in the real world. Already, I foresee many more unhappy incidents to unfold. Watch this space.

Landed

We made it here in Singapore safe and sound without much incidents...except for one which nearly caused us to miss our flight. Thank God the journey here went quickly (almost 12hours). The girls slept 6 hours continously. I tried to catch a wink while they slept but hardly rested properly as they were both facing each other, Lavigne's head on my lap, Louisa's on the armrest on her seat, their feet facing each other's. So when one moved, I had to move the other's legs, kept having to cover blanket for them. It happened every few minutes. There were many great movies but I didn't manage to watch even one whole show, not even Ratatouille (sigh!). I thought with no help, I didn't want to forsake rest just to watch a movie. When we came home to my parents', I'd begun to feel very sleepy (5pm). The girls enjoyed running round the house and scoot and cycled at the car porch. A change from our very small and confined house in England. Lavigne's hair was constantly wet even though it wasn't really that hot. When my sisters came home from work and saw her, they'd thought she'd just taken a shower. The girls went to bed at 8pm and Lavigne continued to perspire in the airconditioned room. She woke at about 3am asking for breakfast and Louisa was woken up by her. I gave them some food and put them back to bed. Louisa got up at 8+ while Lavigne and I continued to slumber. Right now, with the cloudy skies and cool air, fan on full blast, Lavigne is still perspiring profusely. Bringing them to Compasspoint to 'Meet and Greet' the Disney Princesses now.

Last minute's cold feet

We'll head for Heathrow Airport in less than 2 hours and the nerves are getting to me. I'd been having butterflies in the tummy since this morning. Been feeling quite nonchalant about flying with the 2 girls myself all these while. So I can't quite pinpoint why I'm suddenly feeling really nervous about the whole thing. I guess I'm worried if they will behave themselves, if they will sleep well, if their cough and cold will get worse, if they'll start asking for daddy in mid air etc etc etc. I wonder if I can cope and handle them in the small confined space. I hope the craft kits, books, playdoh, paper and card game will keep them occupied. I hope Louisa will learn and like to play the nintendo games. At least now I know Adrian will not starve for I have packed boxes of food for him in the freezer. All he has to do is pop them in the microwave. There's also ham, cheese and milk in the fridge so all his main meals are taken care of. Wish me luck! See you all in Singapore!

Something different

One big and one cabin size luggage, 2 small trolley bags for the girls and one handbag for myself. They are packed and we're good to go. Oh yes, my dad's parasol too (Rang him to ask if he wants it. He said yes. Though it won't be a surprise anymore, at least I know he wants it and I won't get a 'scolding' from him). The house is neat and tidy. Just one last load of washing to be hung out to dry. 98% of the chores on my list are completed and ticked. So why am I feeling we're not ready to leave? It just doesn't seem right. I must be missing something. Not packed something. Not done something. But I've checked my list over and over again. Adrian said the reason is because I'd finished everything early so I'm actually more than ready. Usually, I'll still be running about in the house trying to complete my tasks and packing at this time. But hey they're almost all done (only left with cooking and freezing meals for Adrian and checking the X'mas cards for Louisa's classmates and teachers)! I am surprised at how organised I am (I'm usually the opposite). So there you go, I'm not a gone case afterall.

School Summary report for Lavigne

It comes as a surprise to me when I received the school report for Lavigne today. Not that I'm saying there's anything wrong with her behaviour or performance but surely it can't be all 100% positive. Yes, I am happy nonetheless but I wonder if it's really that perfect. Anyway, below is the report.

Lavigne has settled in really quickly and she enjoys her time at school. She is a very confident girl and likes to socialise with the other children. She has made good friends with Jamie who started school with her and they enjoy working together. She also copes well with the morning session.

She has very good language skills for a girl of her age and likes to chat to the teachers. She is always very attentive during circle time and is happy to participate. Lavigne also enjoys music and dancing.

Lavigne is very independent in choosing her own work and is always keen to learn new activities.

She loves spending time in the creative classroom working with play dough and shows good dexterity in rolling, cutting and making shapes. She also enjoys painting and glueing.

Lavigne is very interested in the sensorial material. She is very able working with the knobbed cyclinders, broad stairs and has progressed to the knobless cyclinders. She is very good at recognising and drawing shpaes when using the insets.

She is confident with a lot of practical life activities such as cutting, pouring and spooning.

Lavigne likes to spend time outdoors and she has good physical abilities. She enjoys chasing her friends in the garden and using our new climbing frame.

Almost to THE day

Can't believe we're about one day away from leaving. I know, I'd been harping on my trip to Singapore but really cannot help it lah! All the packing's almost done. But I'm also seriously beginning to worry about leaving Adrian behind. Then! My worst nightmare has to happen. Well, not worst but bad enough. The girls are down with cough and cold. Out of nowhere. So sudden. No warning whatsoever. And of all time, it has to be so close to our departure. AND! I don't like it when the grands are around when they're not well. No offence and I understand they are concerned and mean well. But I get so stressed when they ask so many questions and this and that. It can be quite overwhelming, really. I'd thought this cold season had gone down well with them. Until now, that is. They'd been quite poorly during autumn and winter last year so I'd been really careful. But with both of them in school, I know it's a matter of time before they'll bring something home and start passing around. It won't be a pleasant flight for them if they have a bunged up nose. Aww....and they had been looking forward to it.

Pooped but totally happy

Today, I met up with Cassandra for the first time. I'd invited her and Sylvia over to my place for some makan and playtime for the little ones. Cassandra and I got to know each other through a thread I started for Singaporean mummies living in UK at a motherhood forum. She posted a message many months ago and I'd not checked the thread for maybe 1+yrs? One day a few weeks back, I dropped by the forum and saw her message. This was followed by a private message for her and then we started chatting on and off on MSN. Sylvia said she admires me because this is what I always do. Drop a message, chat and then meet. Well, there's always the first step, isn't it? I think living in a foreign land, it's always exciting to know someone from your home. I'm sure Sylvia, Val and Cass will agree with me. True, we should get to know the locals but we're finding it quite hard. It's pretty tough forging true friendship with them except for a few handfuls. Not sure if we are the ones who are guarded or them? I still like to speak Singlish to my fellow Singaporean mummies 'lah, lee, lor, leh'. Somehow, by the fact that we come from the same country, there's an instant connection.

I'd been trying forever to meetup with Sylvia. We'd been busy with our own stuff but finally we had the chance today (supposed to meet last week but she had caught a bug). Let me tell you, this lady is simply, in a word 'super-friendly'. Ok, that's not really one word but I really need to emphasize on her affable personality. She can be buddy-buddy with anyone. I like that. So easygoing.

Anyway, Cass came with baby Gabby (little pumpkin, Sylvia calls her) and Sylvia with Danielle late morning. Unfortunately, Gabby, for some reasons (either she didn't like my face or my house), cried alot while she was here. I totally could feel for Cass as this was what happened to Lavigne when we went to a mummies-babies gathering just before coming to UK. Even though I have 2 children myself, I'd forgotten how to soothe her. It seems like everytime we tried to coo or cheer her up, she'd cry harder. Or when she'd calmed down, she'd start again. I felt really bad as there was nothing I could do. Cass tried to rock her, sling her, pat her. We tried to stay in another room, dropping in ever so often to see if everything's fine. I hope you didn't feel left out, Cass, as we thought our presence or voice (uhm it seems like I'm talking for Sylvia too. Not sure if you agree) might aggravate her crying.

I made Chicken Curry and panfried Prata (bought from supermarket) for lunch. The little ones had fried rice but they were more interested in our Prata. Tea was Pandan Cake (another story to tell). I was really so goondu I didn't realise Cass had bought Danish Pastries. She showed me some Snowmen, which were obviously for the girls. I only realised the bag of goodies when I came home after sending them to the train station and Louisa's music class. Oh no! We could have had them for tea and Danielle didn't get to eat her Snowman. Sorry, sweetie!

Adrian went to pick them up from the train station in the morning as I had a visitor just before they came. He kindly stayed and played with the 2 little ones while us mummies yakked away. Thanks! After lunch, Sylvia and Danielle went to attend music class with us while Cass stayed in the house with Gabby. Then it was back in the house for a little while and out again to pick Louisa from school. Danielle is so cute. When we reached Louisa's classroom, she went right into the class to meet Louisa. When they came out, she went on to hold Louisa's hand which made my heart melt. How sweet was that. My girl was thrilled that they went to meet her in school.

Upon reaching home, we didn't have much time other than a quick tea and cake before leaving for the train station. Due to bad traffic, they missed a train and Louisa was late for her music class. We came home and though tired, I'm a happy lady. I can't imagine how time went by quickly. It was whirlwind. Just like the birthday parties which all ended very quickly. I hope you had a lovely time ladies because I did and just the thought of today put a smile on my face. I'm really sorry about the pastries, Cass. I had one for dinner and it was SINFULLY GOOOOOOOD!

Sheeeeeesh! Just realised I forgot to do a check-in for my flight!!!!! (update: it's not allowing me to check-in, urgh!)