Big relief!

Remember I wrote in a post recently that I will blog about the reason for going back to Singapore? Some of you may be speculating I could be preggie with No. 3. Yes? No? Nope! Last week, I went for a breast examination. I had been referred by my GP to a breast clinic as I had complained of pain in my right breast. This pain had come and go for the past few months. After a consultation, I went through an ultrasound scan, followed by a scary biopsy as the scan showed several lumps. I knew I was going to have a scan but never once did it occur to me that I could be going through a biopsy. A small cut was made to the area where the lumps were found after local anaesthetic was applied. I didn't look at what the doctor was doing (best to look away) but I could feel some pushing and nudging, the nurse pressing on the cut to prevent blood flow and then two loud stapling sound!! The whole experience was very frightening. I could feel myself shaking. It was not so much of the pain (felt only a nick) but the whole idea of the doctor removing tissues from me through a cut while I was wide awake was scary enough. (Imagine those of you who went through csec using epidural!). Thankfully, the doctor and nurse tried to distract me by making small talk about my children. At least that took my mind off what was going on in the room then.

To make the story short, the whole experience made me sit up and think. I realised that life is too short and full of uncertainties. (Not trying to sound philosophical here). Not knowing the result was agonising. I remember the first few days after the test feeling worried and scared. I would sit with the girls at the dinning table and while they ate, tears would flow. I thought of the worst (breast cancer) and whether I have to remove them if they turn out to be benign etc etc. I now know what it feels like when my friend had an amnio done to determine if her unborn child had down syndrome. It must have been much worse for her since she had to wait 2 weeks for the results and I waited one. So I thought if given the opportunity, I should go back to spend time with my family and friends.

Opportunity. Several weeks back, Adrian had suggested I utilise his free ticket to go back this December. I asked 'what about the girls then?'. One option was to bring one and he looks after the other. Not fair I thought. Another was I go back alone for 2 weeks while he cares for both girls. Not realistic since he won't be able to get any work done and I think he'll end up resenting me. All 3 of us go? Can't afford. So we abandoned the idea altogether until last week that is. My sisters have kindly offered to sponsor our tickets (we are so fortunate!) and so all 4 of us are going back.

I got my results today. Thank God they are benign and what they call as 'fibroadenomas'. I am also relieved to hear that having them will not increase my risk of developing breast cancer. The doctor had advised me not to have them removed since they are relatively small and going through with the surgery will leave scar tissues behind. I will have a review in 6 months to see if the lumps have grown in size. So ladies, it is important that you check your breasts regularly.